Negotiation - you are much more equal than you think

You Are Much More Equal Than You Think! (Negotiation Power)

by Giles Morgan |
25th September, 2022 |
Giles Morgan
23 Mar, 2023

Those who have power have options. Do not give your power away just because you FEEL you have little power. Remember, you are much more powerful than you think.

Power gives ‘you’ the ability to control people and events. So those who have power have options.

But. ‘You’ are much more powerful and equal than you think!

Because of that little voice in your head, you might feel ‘they’ are more powerful than ‘you’.


Do not give them power. Don’t confuse the perception of power with what is REAL power. 

You worry about what is happening in your head rather than what is happening in their head.

If you allow emotion to control you… you will give away what power you have.

Get out of your head… and get into theirs.

At Kahvay, we use the lighthouse as a visual metaphor, representing the need to climb above the storm, the emotion, the conflict and the issues to look down from a different angle and see people and circumstances from a different perspective.

waves crushing the red lighthouse under gray sky during daytime

Photo by James Peacock on Unsplash

You Negotiate with People; people just like you. They have very similar pressures and triggers that you have.

  1. How are they being performance managed? Are they performing?
  2. How are they rewarded? What are their interests? What motivates them?
  3. What are their deadlines? Are they in charge of their time, or is someone else?

Where others get caught in the wind and the storm’s rain, you need to gain a 360° view from the top of your lighthouse. Get out of your head.. and get into theirs.

“Power comes from you, you can either give someone power and have your power taken away from you, OR you can choose to be powerful.”

Five Laws of POWER

  1. Scarcity
  2. Authority
  3. Choice
  4. Change
  5. Time

Alone, linked or all together, each can be used against you, or you can use them in your favour. You decide.

How can you use these in your life;

  • Time and Scarcity – When would you buy that sofa you wanted? At the beginning of the month or maybe at the end when the salesperson is reaching for their targets? How about at the end of the Quarter?
  • Choice – Would you interview one builder or many for your house growth plans? Never fall in love once.. always have alternatives, and always foster your BATNA’s (Best Alternative to A Negotiated Outcome).
  • Choice and Change – If a counterpart gave you options (not so smelly, smelly or smellier) would you accept one or look to re-package them? Yes, of course, repackage them in your favour.
  • Authority – Why negotiate with a junior? You may like them, but can they agree to your deal? Are they blocking you, focusing you on PRICE? Wouldn’t you want to negotiate with their manager or manager’s manager?

Where Does Real Power Come From?

You need to understand your actual power and how much you need. Equally, you need to know how much power they have.

Ask yourself these questions to analyse your real power vs theirs;

  • Supply and demand. Who’s Brand / Product / Proposition / Value is strongest? Who is of more value to whom? Who has the most valuable proposition or offering?
  • RAD (Relationship. Awareness. Demand). Who has stronger relationships? Who has the strongest relationships with senior management?
  • Which party is going through change? Who has a history of being able to change? Who does not like change?
  • History. What happened before? Who is known for being easy? Who is known for being tough or difficult? Who is known for doing what they say? Who has a history of following through? Who is known for not following through?
  • BATNA. How much do you need each other? How dependent are you on each other? Who has options, alternatives? How much of your business is done together? Who has the most competition?
  • Time. Who has a deadline? Who is under time pressure?
  • Information. Who knows more about each other’s issues and circumstances? Who is better prepared? Who has a more robust planning process? Who has controlled their information the best?

And here’s another thing;

Consider. Anyone using tactics against you is trying to change the perception of power in their favour. Therefore – anyone using tactics against you suggests that they may think you are powerful.


Those who have power have options. Do not give your power away just because you FEEL you have little power. Remember, you are much more powerful than you think.

  1. Analyse what is ‘real power’ vs your ‘perception of power’ is;
  2. Make ‘challenging’ the perception of power a primary feature in your negotiation planning;
  3. Never wing it. Always consider power as a shifting dimension. It is ever-changing.

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